To whom it may concern,I came there 2 weeks ago and I will never come back again. I came in for my sisters bachlorette party and was immediately forced to make noise with wooden sticks for some skinny little bartender whom I've never met before. When I wouldn't, he made a tragic attempt to belittle me in front his sycophants.
I am absolutely astonished that such a sad, insignificant, lonely, unattractive, pathetic, and moronic individual such as yourself exists. I realize, for a woman of my intellect, using such immature insults is somewhat childish and inappropriate in this "hate mail" context; however, when dealing with the moronic, one must lower themselves to that level in order for the receiver to understand the message.
One day, a long time ago, someone made you feel unimportant and insignificant. Daddy and Mommy didn't love you enough or pay enough attention to you, and hence, you feel the need thenceforth to attempt to destroy the confidences of others and get all the attention, thereby making you feel somewhat more important.
I will never visit your establishment again. And I will make all attempts to desuade anyone I know from coming there.

This isn’t so much a hate mail as it is a question. Why do you play lame music. I mean oh my god! I’ve heard music in there my parents listen to. But then you’ll go and play like Brittney Spears or something. Honestly, it’s 2004 and you’re playing “I love rock and roll”. I don’t even think I was born when that song came out! And to make matters worse you play country music. COUNTRY MUSIC!! But I should’ve expected that with the way the place looks. And to top it off you stop the music and I can’t even get a drink just so you guys can get up and do some gay dance. If I ever get any ugly friends I’ll make sure they stop in. I’m sure they’ll fit nicely!!

Are you guys ever going to get any hot chicks working for you? I remember one girl who worked there for awhile and then disappeared what happened?

Saw the article about theLRS and thought you shouldknow it was done almost fifty years ago. The place was
called Mermaid'sCave and billed itself as Detroit's
lousiest/loudiest lounge.Same shtick....same MO even
down to the table knockers.There's nothing new under
the sun...ask your Gramps.

Can someone please tell the “drunk section” to shut the hell up! I mean my God do you have to yell about everything? And why is it they come in with a bunch of guys and leave with a bunch of guys? Do they even spend any money when they come in? I mean they just sit there and YELL, then leave. Thank God they always leave early. I don’t think I could take it all night long. I actually had to leave twice because they were to loud. Why does Beaker let them sit on his bar? I don’t think they even tip! I watched one of them pull out $3.00 to tip him. No wonder they don’t get laid.Jen

Tacklefairy, your bar sucks, and it will always suck, especially with DiscoStu on it. Dave O sucks too, a lot, especially balls. You suck balls too,
Tacklefairy, and so does Rufio.

This bar is really bad.Sincerely,
AJ
P.S. Dave O sucks balls.

"Dave O, who sucks balls, has a freakin' message posted about him, so whythe heck can't I have a freakin' message about me? Let me say again how much I hate
this bar, and the only reason why I go is because Beaker leaves voice messages on my
cell phone threatening to hunt me down and "tongue-jack my shitbox", whatever that
means. It sounds scary, so I listen to what he says. Did I mention that Dave O
sucks balls?
Sincerely,
AJ
P.S. Dave O sucks balls, as well as Disco Stu, and Rufio, along with Bill

As a proud member, I appreciate the hate mail posted by the person known as"Jen". Sure, the whole email rips on us in many ways, but I choose to look at the
positive side of it. First off, there aren't any hate mails, or even fan mails,
about Jen. There isn't anyone out there taking the time and effort to post a witty
email about her, and even if someone did, it wouldn't get posted because nobody
knows who Jen is, nor do they care who Jen is. Second, this just proves that The
Drunk Section has arrived as a legitimate mainstay at the Lockerroom Saloon. If we
stopped going there, many people would miss our presence, dispite, according to Jen,
the constant yelling we do. If Jen stopped going there, we'd make sure to let her
know before she left how much we value her presence there by chanting, "FUCK YOU
JEN!" One last thing, there's a bar across the street called "Hatchey's", mainly
for people who don't like being around loud people. It's a bar I'd recommend for
Jen.

I'm going to agree with the nonsensical Dave-O on JEN's note. As yetanother persistent loud ass and LR regular, I've also taken her note a little
personal. If she has to leave because it's too loud, she's in the wrong bar in the
first place. Maybe we can compile a list of 'Pussy Friendly' bars for the folks who
can't get down with the LR approach to having a kick ass time. To the LR staff, keep
it loud. Oh, and I don't want AJ to feel neglected so I'll just tell him to go get a
big steaming bowl of shut the fuck up and a couple sides of eat my ass.
-CMF

You guys are just mad because you aren't one of the pretty people like me! Your just mad because one day when i'm rich and famous you'll be nothing. -Jen

To everyone who hates the Locker Room,Go fuck yourselves! You've obviously missed the point of the place. Do you not understand that the whole point is to go in there and blow off steam?? It doesn't matter how you look or how you dress. And I love the music that they play. How can you not. THEY PLAY EVERYTHING!! For all of you who have missed the point, I'm glad you assholes aren't coming back ever again. More fun for the rest of us who hate the big generic clubs.

Disco Stu and Tack's bar are the shit!!! What the hell does AJ know? Thekid screams for no good reason and says balls more times than anyone can count. Have
his parents checked for Tourette syndrom yet?

As much as I think AJ has issues I have to agree with him on the lame asspatron known as "Jen". Who the hell are you??! If youve been goin to the Locker Room
for more than five minutes you'd know that its not a
tame-sit-on-your-ass-like-a-retard bar. If you cant hack a little yelling and what
normal people would call fun, let us know. We'll escort you down to Cactus Jacks
where you can sit in the corner and take a nap. By the way, when you become "rich
and famous", we'll remember to tell the press how much you sucked. : )

Ok wow you're stupid... Oh wait you don't even know how to spell stupid... "jen you stuped c*&t i hate you. you stuped and you took time out of your day to write that. God damn you need a life and stop bitching so god damn much. YOU STUPED C*&T!! jen you are probility the only 46 year old who thinks she is 25 and still lives with there mom and dad in a box BITCH STUPED WHORE MOTHER"

Ok I go to college and I know how to spell, I'm pretty and much more popular than you and I'm sure I have more of a future than you. Don't be angry with me because you drive your house. One of you tried to talk to me last weekend. Thank God I'm back at school with more intelligent people with more rich families than yours. And and by the way we shower too. You guys look like you just crawled out of a dumpster.
I mean like oh my God my Prada bag costs more than your car. Don't ever try to hit on me again because it's just gross.
P.S. Somebody please clean the Locker Room too. I mean a coat of paint would be nice.
-Jen

Seriously Jen, this is the last reply I have for you. You really have aproblem with this bar and with us, so just stay away. Stay up there at school, with
your intelligent friends and their rich families, because we'll be better off without you around. It's great that your a pretty girl and that your really
popular, congratulations, keep up the good work in that area. I'm not going to say anything more to you, because you'll probably take it the wrong way and then you'll want to kick my cousin's ass. You know who we are, and we're not afraid to show it, so let's see if your not afraid to show us who you are. Next time we're there, let yourself be known. Until then, "tonguejack my shitbox".

This sentence alone could kill me, I mean seriously she claims to be educated "I mean like oh my God my Prada bag costs more than your car. Don't evertry to hit on me again because it's just gross" Now this is where the dumb blonde jokes should come into play. But not today, Jen it must be nice having everything handed to you by your parents, I guess that's why you still have that 15 year old
high school mentality, get over yourself. As for the drunk section always glad to see you guys around. Courtesy of the Outlaws

First of all... who is this "Jen" and why does she keep talking? Doesn'tshe know that the drunk section is awesome?! Especially Dave-O, Everyone loves
Dave-O. (She was right about one thing though... they do just sit there and
yell...)
Anyways, why does Beaker get all the hate mail? I don't think that he's a sad,
insignificant, lonely, unattractive, pathetic, and moranic individual. That person
must have some serious self esteem issues or something, cause' Beaker rocks!
Oh, and Oz... please talk to Tac about the music he has been playing on Monday's. I
don't want to see AJ look that gay doing the YMCA EVER again.

jen you stuped cunt i hate you. you stuped and you took time out of yourday to write that. God damn you need a life and stop bitching so god damn much. YOU
STUPED CUNT
jen you are probility the only 46 year old who thinks she is
25 and still lives with there mom and dad in a box BITCH
STUPED WHORE MOTHER

So ... I was just catching up on some LR hate mail when I came across somelovely little tid bits from "Jen".
It's interesting that NOBODY knows what this Jen looks like ... I mean shit, we
should all have some idea since she's so beautiful and totes around some designer
bags .... oh wait ... I forgot, NOBODY GIVES A SHIT!!!
To all the bartenders .... please, it would be in your best interest to do the
following: Next time this "Jen" orders a drink (if she show's her face again) be
sure to serve it with a vibrator.... that way when she starts to complain (because
you know she will) you can tell her to GO FUCK HERSELF!
Love you guys! (and my girls)
Lins

Oz, can we pleeaassse figure out who this damn Jen girl is??? Maybe wecould place in the middle of the dance floor and all boo her, give her the asshole
chant...throw rocks at her...or whatever you see fit.

Oz, I know you have it, you've waited long enough. Really... just give it to us, she deserves it.

I was just inquiring about the awsomeness of the patron named Dave-0. He is thecoolest man i ever met. I beleive you should have your whole wait staff emulate
him, then you all you have supreme awsomeness.
Sincerly yours,
A concerned Patron

but that was no reason to kick me out.. i had a 300 dollar tab almost and you kicked me out.. then the taxi guy took all my money. I hate you and love you at the same time.Take care.
You're number one hate fan

A while back I came into the locker room and it reminded me of something, but i couldn't figure it out. Then after the fifteen time I had to stand up andscream " Fuck side one!!" I realized it reminded me of the movie cocktail! Only here the characters were about 10-20 lbs overweight(especiallt Tack) and sucked worse then Tom Cruise. The best part of the whole night was the front door as I was
leaving!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Poop crew in the house!! I wish you had more poop on the menu. You suck! your web site sucks as much as your bar!-Pooptooth

To whom it may concern,We were in last Wednesday and had a server we will never forget…. Farver.
How could we forget him, we know every aspect of his dismal existence. Farver thought that we might be interested in his current situation regarding his illegitimate child and it’s mother. He then decided to tell us about his band troubles and if we came in again he would bring us a CD of his music. I thought I had a bad life! What a downer.
Through out his whole dissertation I could only think 3 words over and over in my head and my wife agreed…. WE DON’T CARE WE DON’T CARE WE DON’T CARE
Does anyone have him on suicide watch??
THAT GUY NEEDS HELP

Beaker, I know the secret to your success. If you do not send me $10,000 I will tell everyone and you won’t make any more money.

I hope you die in a fire.

Gather 'round young ones... I'm gonna tell you all about a little hole in the wall called the Locker Room Saloon.I'll preface the story with the supposition that everyone knows Flint, Michigan is the armpit of the state. Nothing Michael Moore can say, or do, will ever change this. Now, by making Flint the armpit we can extrapolate that The Locker Room (located right here in Utica, MI) would be some kind of festering pimple on the back of the state.
Then there's the DJ.
Imagine every shitty wedding DJ that you've ever come across, okay? Now, when these men eventually hang themselves in a closet somewhere or drink anti-freeze their damned souls are funneled into this one being of pure evil.
Yes, a man so evil that he will pick you out of a crowd and order you to have a good time by leading the rest or the bar in the "Hustle" or "Chicken dance." He also serves to pit different sides of the bar against another in shouting matches...only to declare that everyone's a winner so the "prize" of dollar shooters goes to all.
So that's the basic premise. People stand on furniture and bang on things with sticks. (An aside, I once heard that the sticks were outlawed for a time because a fight broke out and someone was stabbed with one. I'm not stating this as the Bible truth, only a colorful urban legend. Way better than the murder house.)
The Locker Room is a hive of scum and villainy, the likes of which I haven't seen since the Mos Eisley cantina in Star Wars. It's small, cramped, stinky and, worst of all, my Budweiser was warm. It's not fun at all. How this place has been open for twenty-plus years escapes me.

I'm a regular at your bar and I'd have to say that I absolutely love it dueto the fact that it's different. I've been searching for a bar that caters to my
every need, and your bar is definitely it. But ever since you guys have been
focusing on promotional events, I'd have to say that your bar is anything but fun
anymore. I don't wanna call you guys sell-outs, but that's exactly what it seems
like. It's not the small unknown bar anymore, where you never have to wait in line.
Instead it's always packed, and recently I had to wait in line for 40 minutes to get
in, only after I froze my ass off!! Even then there were no seats, the place was
packed, people were standing in the aisles and you couldn't move at all! I know
that's a plus for you guys cuz it's all about making money, but next time I think
about going to your bar, if i drive by only to find a long line waiting out front,
I'm just going to continue driving. Trust me, I still love your bar, but it's just
becoming inconvenient.

OZ, please stop wearing the baby blue MSU shirt, it looks really gay. Also, my friends and I want Beaker to stop hitting on us. A friend of mine was
about to hook up w/ him until she saw how small is penis was. Also can you tell
that fag Rufio to get a haircut. Thanks for your considerations.